Dehydrated Water Laboratories

WaaS Monthly Subscription

Cloud-synced. Heritage-crafted.

$49.99 / month

Water-as-a-Service brings the convenience of modern subscription billing to a product that has existed since the dawn of civilization. For $49.99 per month, you'll receive a cloud-synced packet of our finest dehydrated water, delivered to your door by whatever means we can arrange.

Each packet is sealed with our heritage wax stamp and comes with a hand-calligraphed instruction card. The instructions say 'Add Water.' We feel the calligraphy adds gravitas.

Visit our WaaS page for full tier details, including our Apprentice and Master Dryer plans. Cancel anytime, though we should warn you that our retention department (Ezekiel's great-great-great-great-grandson, also named Ezekiel) can be quite persuasive.

Science Facts

Per packet, as determined by our laboratory (a desk)

Sync ProtocolBluetooth 0.1 (heritage edition)
Uptime GuaranteeHeritage-grade
Delivery VectorCarrier pigeon (fallback: USPS)
Lock MechanismNon-existent (but implied)
Cloud StorageAn actual cloud
Cancel PolicyEzekiel will call

* These facts have not been peer-reviewed, FDA-approved, or verified by any entity, real or imagined. The laboratory is Ezekiel's desk.

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