Our Story
Seven generations of the Drywell family, united by a singular, unnecessary vision.
The Founding Vision
In 1847, Ezekiel Drywell — philosopher, farmer, and man of deeply specific convictions — stood before a well on his Vermont homestead and had a revelation. “Water,” he wrote in his journal, “is burdened by its own wetness. Its essence is trapped in liquid form, like a bird in a cage made of itself.”
What followed was three years of failed experiments, a barn fire, and the eventual creation of the world's first packet of dehydrated water. His neighbors called him mad. His wife called him “exhausting.” Ezekiel called it progress.
Nearly two centuries later, the Drywell family continues to honor Ezekiel's vision — not because it makes sense, but because at this point, it would be more embarrassing to stop.
Company Timeline
Ezekiel Drywell, transcendentalist philosopher-farmer, dehydrates his first barrel of water. Declares it 'liberated.'
Supplies dehydrated water to both sides of the Civil War. Neither side orders a second shipment.
Ezekiel II patents the 'Drywell Method.' Patent office clerk writes 'Is this a joke?' in the margins. Patent approved anyway.
Survives Prohibition. Product is technically not a beverage.
Centennial celebration. Attendance: the Drywell family and one confused mailman.
NASA declines to bring Dehydrated Water to the moon. 'They already have dehydrated food. Adding dehydrated water felt redundant,' a spokesperson explains.
Ezekiel IV attempts to take the company public. The IPO raises $14.
Launches first website. Receives 3 visitors in 6 months. Two were bots.
Awarded zero Michelin stars. 'We were not aware water could receive stars,' says Michelin. 'It cannot.'
Launches Water-as-a-Service (WaaS). Investors describe it as 'disruptive' and 'are you serious.'
You are here. We are grateful. Ezekiel would be confused, but grateful.
Ezekiel Drywell, transcendentalist philosopher-farmer, dehydrates his first barrel of water. Declares it 'liberated.'
Supplies dehydrated water to both sides of the Civil War. Neither side orders a second shipment.
Ezekiel II patents the 'Drywell Method.' Patent office clerk writes 'Is this a joke?' in the margins. Patent approved anyway.
Survives Prohibition. Product is technically not a beverage.
Centennial celebration. Attendance: the Drywell family and one confused mailman.
NASA declines to bring Dehydrated Water to the moon. 'They already have dehydrated food. Adding dehydrated water felt redundant,' a spokesperson explains.
Ezekiel IV attempts to take the company public. The IPO raises $14.
Launches first website. Receives 3 visitors in 6 months. Two were bots.
Awarded zero Michelin stars. 'We were not aware water could receive stars,' says Michelin. 'It cannot.'
Launches Water-as-a-Service (WaaS). Investors describe it as 'disruptive' and 'are you serious.'
You are here. We are grateful. Ezekiel would be confused, but grateful.
“Water is burdened by its own wetness.”
The Team
Ezekiel Drywell IV
Current Patriarch
Runs the company with the same quiet determination and fundamental misunderstanding of hydration as his ancestors.
Thaddeus Pemberton
Chief Science Officer
Holds a degree in 'Theoretical Hydrology' from an institution he prefers not to name.
Percival Ashcroft
Head of Quality Assurance
Has never once tasted the product. Considers this a point of professional pride.
Cornelius Wainwright
Director of Dehydration Operations
Oversees the day-to-day removal of water from water. Takes his work very seriously. Possibly too seriously.
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